Comments:

28 Days

Saturday marked 28 days left till my wedding. How did I spend it? Skating in two roller derby bouts, promoting my station and impressing bikers. That’s what Eenie Meanie does on weekends.

This weekend Thunder Beach brought bikers rumbling into Panama City Beach. The Panama City Roller Girls had made an agreement with the lovely people at Rockit Lanes in the Edgewater Shopping Plaza to put on several demonstrations during the weekend. We had an open practice Thursday night, a bout Friday night and two bouts Saturday. Well, technically, we had 1 1/4 bouts Saturday. I’ll explain.

I wasn’t there Thursday or Friday because I had to work, but I was able to skate in the Saturday games. Since this would be my last chance to really skate till after my wedding, I wanted to participate as much as possible.

The first game was at 3 p.m. Girls from the Beach Brawl Sk8r Dolls and Birmingham teams came to skate with us. We split into two teams: Devils with Blue Dresses and Blood Bath and Beyond (quite possibly the best name for a team EVER!!!). I was on Blood Bath and Beyond.

Since we were essentially reintroducing roller derby to a bunch of bikers with short attention spans, the team decided to reduce our games from three 20 minute periods to three 15 minute periods.

Coach Dangerous Dan was in charge of BB&B. He decided we should play just for fun. PCRD has a bout against Jacksonville next weekend, so none of us really wanted to kill ourselves. Dixie Thrash from Birmingham (Tragic City Roller Girls) was out with a knee injury, so she coached Devils with Blue Dresses. Dixie is a consummate competitor. That girl knows how to have fun, but she also knows how to win. There’s no taking it easy in a game for Dixie. She organized the girls on her team, created line-ups, gave girls pointers on who to target, she was going to rock our world.

During the first game, Phoenix Rising hurt her ankle and knee on the same leg. Ima Biter rushed in off the center of the track to her derby wife’s side. Phoenix was in no condition to skate for a while, so Ima put on her jersey and skated a few jams until Phoenix rose (yes, this was meant to be funny) off the bench.

Roxie Ramjett from Tragic City threw out her shoulder as well. Like a true derby girl, she stayed to cheer us on for the rest of the night.

DBD ended up slaying us by almost 50 points, but BB&B was determined to bring it back that night.

After the first game, all the girls went back to the dressing room to scarf down some snacks and water and rest up for the next game. The roller girls from Greater Jacksonville showed up to skate with us in the evening game. I had never met any of them before, but they seemed cool enough. Spade even fixed on of my skates that had been giving me trouble.

Two hours before the next game was to start, a bunch of the girls went out into the parking lot to pass out flyers. We met some cool people, some not-so cool people and some scantily-clad people. One group of bikers wanted to take a picture with me, Slam Duncan and Crime Scene. The woman who was taking our picture asked, “So how old are you girls?” We exchanged confused glances then admitted we are 27, 32 and 43. She was shocked.

There was a great deal of excitement over the last game of the night. Both teams came out strong. Phoenix gave the crowd a sample of her legendary hard hits. Time after time she sent the opposing jammer into the benches. You would think after the first time, they would have learned to pass her on the inside instead of the outside.

Slammy jammed for DBD several times that night. Once, when she was coming through the pack, Spade from Greater Jacksonviller Roller Derby was the last girl from BB&B to pass. Spade was coming in for a hit when Slammy jumped back at the last minute. Spade was knocked a little off balance, but mostly she was just miffed that she missed Slammy. She came off the track asking me if I had seen it happen. I just shrugged my shoulders and told her that Slammy does that sometimes.

Everyone was having a great time, despite a few injuries. At one point, Dropkick Murphy skated off the track after a jam, and in a quiet voice said, “Um, my leg is bleeding.” We turned around to see, not a little scratch, but a gash bubbling blood down her leg. It seemed as if the entire team rushed over with first aid kits, wipes and paper towels. I think Murphy was a little embarrassed to have so many fussing over her, but she’s one of our best skaters. We were concerned.

The game ended on an anti-climactic note when Lucy Lunatic from Jacksonville thought she had broken her nose. All the girls from Jacksonville left before the bout was over, so we had to call an end to the evening’s festivities.

The girls from Birmingham and Okaloosa/Ft. Walton stuck around for a few drinks and to watch a recap of the last game. Even if it ended oddly, it was a fun way to spend my last day on skates before October 25th.

Also, I would like to take this opportunity to issue a challenge. Stephen Gunter told me he would come to one of the games to show some support for his favorite derby queens and never showed. So I am challenging the News 13 Sports Department to a tag-team race against me and one of my girls. Do you guys accept?

Update:
Stephen Gunter and Chris Marchand have accepted my challenge. Slam Duncan and I will beat them sometime after high school football season ends. It’ll give Stephen a chance to learn how to skate.

<< Back to main